I love my dark side-or- How to stop negotiating with the truth?

We like to think we know ourselves. We think we act consciously.
We think we decide. But most of the time, we react.

To a look. To a tone. To a situation that triggers something we don’t fully understand.

And that reaction, fast, emotional, often disproportionate, is where your dark side appears.

The dark side is not what people think. It is not something extreme. Not something reserved for psychopaths.

It is much more subtle.

It is the comparison that makes you feel not enough, the jealousy you don’t want to admit. It is also the need to control when you feel uncertain and the inner judge that is always on duty.

It is the shame you feel for wanting or for not getting what you want. It is the feeling of not being good enough, of being a loser.

The dark side is not darkness. It is information.

I LOVE MY DARK SIDE

 I love my dark side. Not because it is beautiful. Not because it is comfortable.

But because it is useful. Because it shows me exactly where I am triggered and where I am not free.

Sometimes, we choose not to look at our dark side or we reject it as if it didn’t belong to us. What we resist persists. Convenient or not. What you refuse to see does not disappear. It reorganises. It waits. And then it strikes, often without our awareness.

So the question is not whether we have a dark side.

The question is whether we are willing to see it before it decides for us.

Light and shadow were never meant to be separated.

LUCEM ET UMBRAM devilishly innocent

 

We like to believe in clean narratives. In good and bad. In right and wrong.

But we are never just one thing. We are composed and chaotic.
Kind and cruel. Certain and uncertain. What we call contradiction is often just reality.

Devilishly innocent is not a paradox.

It is a description. Your dark side is not here to be followed. It is there to be observed.

Because every time you are triggered, you are given information.

About what you fear. What you want. What you are protecting. What you are avoiding.

 THE BE(A)ST WEARS VOL(T)AGE

The beast is not outside. It is within. Power. Desire. Control. Fear. Shame.

The question is not whether you have a dark side. The question is: Who is in charge? Are you directing your impulses? Or are they directing you?

You can't become your best self if you refuse to see your beast.

Because power without awareness becomes distortion. And innocence without depth becomes illusion. 

And then comes the only question that matters.

Not: Is this justified? Is this fair? Does this feel right?

But: Does this move me closer to the person I want to become?

Your impulse is immediate. Your reaction is fast. Your story is convincing.

But there is a moment, a very small one, between what you feel and what you do.

In that space identity is built. Not through perfection, not through innocence but through conscience direction.

Becoming yourself is not about eliminating contradiction but about learning not to be ruled by it.

 DON’T TRY  TO FIX ME

 

What if what you call "wrong" is simply what you did not choose? Not everything aligns. Not everything should. Not everything is meant to be fixed.

The desire to fix yourself or others often comes from fear. Not clarity.

Because growth is not a process of constant correction. It is a process of conscious choice.

And yet, most people never get that far. Not because they don’t feel their dark side. But because they are ashamed of it.

Shame is the real obstacle. Not fear. Not anger.

Shame.

Because fear limits you.
But shame forces you to look away.

And what you refuse to see will always define you.

At some point, you stop asking who or what is responsible for your life. And you start asking what remains in your control.

 NOT A (FASHION) VICTIM

A statement that begins in style, but doesn’t end there.

Being a fashion victim implies submission: to trends, to expectations, to external validation. A silent agreement to follow rather than to choose.

But awareness changes the relationship.

Wardrobe Therapy begins with a simple idea: what you wear is never neutral. Every choice expresses a way of relating to yourself, to others, and to the world around you.

Not being a fashion victim is not about rejecting fashion. It is about engaging with it consciously. Selecting rather than absorbing. Interpreting rather than copying.

And beyond clothing, the idea expands. At some point, we stop asking what the world expects from us and start asking who we are becoming through our decisions.

Responsibility over blame. Agency over passivity. Authorship over excuse.

Because style is not only what you wear. It is how you position yourself.

Style is a choice. Energy is a decision.

THAT'S ALL. FOR NOW.